Joining the Ranks of the 2%

English: Day 90; Wisconsin Protests: Tens Of T...

English: Day 90; Wisconsin Protests: Tens Of Thousands Turn Out In Madison Against Anti-Union Proposal, Tea Party and Todd Walker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Congratulations are in order! They’re in order for me folks! Yes, me! My wife is wondering what I must have done now.

Mom always said that if I worked hard and kept my nose clean that I could make something of myself in this great nation… she was very right! Drum-roll ..I am now a member of the top two percent of America’s wealthiest citizens!

I’m pretty distraught that Bill Gates and Warren Buffet weren’t at my door when I got home from work today. Classless yanks!

How can that be, you ask (don’t worry, my wife is asking also)? Recently, my honorable President promised me personally that only the top two percent of our population would see a tax increase. Well, I received one. What else can that mean except that we’ll be hosting Larry Ellison for brunch tomorrow morning. I hope he enjoys leftover spaghetti… or maybe bologna sandwiches.

What I’m most impressed by is our marvelous Congress, who hasn’t managed to pass a budget in four years, managed to deduct their increased FICA payment from my payroll in just two days. Those guys are sharp. Oh yeah, you too Nancy!

I’m trying to figure what the implications of moving into this elite society will be. Must I find a new blogging base? After all, I can’t very well hang out with the likes of the lower 98 now, can I? I’m now one of those mean and evil filthy rich! Take that, you poverty-stricken infidels!

I must take a moment and thank my President here. Without him, I would never have known of my entry into this upper echelon of wealth. I’m kind of wondering here why I still have to get up every morning and put in my eight at a local trucking company. Maybe Michael Bloomberg will join me tomorrow to stock some shelves. So to my truthful President of great integrity I say…

(If by some chance someone out there still has some esteem left for me, please cover your ears) — “liar, liar… pants on fire!”

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About mtsweat

Seeking the rest that is only promised and found in Christ Jesus, along with my treasured wife of more than twenty-five years, we seek to grow in our relationship with our Heavenly Father, walk with the Holy Spirit as He moves our hearts, loving others always as Jesus loves us, and carry the news of His glory, the wonderful gospel, that gives light and life where there once was only darkness.
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11 Responses to Joining the Ranks of the 2%

  1. Jason says:

    Hilarious post…Sorry about the increase in taxes…The good news is that you must have serious back pay coming since only people earning more than $250,000 are seeing tax increases…Isn’t that what President Obama said about who will see tax increases if he was re-elected?

    • mtsweat says:

      I had not even considered the possibility of back pay… I believe I’ll approach my employer this morning. I’m still trying to figure out why a two-percenter like me needs employment, but anyway… Thanks for the advice and visit good friend. Blessings

  2. hankcr says:

    Yes I too have seen my taxes ascend to the tune of about $1600 a year. Thank you Congress as well as the man who is now living for another four years in the White House. May the fleas of 10,000 camels rest in their nether regions and there be no pharmacy open (since we now have Obamacare for sure also) to relieve their sufferings.

    • mtsweat says:

      Hey! Another 2 percenter… Do you think they’ll let us join the country club now? Fortunately, Congress was able to get themselves a pay raise through to counter their increase… oh yeah, they don’t pay taxes anyway! Maybe they can use the extra revenue for housing… no, don’t need that either. They’re allotted 8000 square feet on our dime while in DC. Maybe for medical expenses… nah, not that either. Free and full coverage on (yeah you guessed it) our dime. Retirement? (yeah, right!) We should ask them about this stuff on the golf course tomorrow…

  3. Steven Sawyer says:

    So, now I suppose you’ll be driving your Mercedes to Walmart. Or will your driver take you? And, can I have your job?

    • mtsweat says:

      Me and bubba’s got the Benz out back now puttin’ our monster mudders on the rear. BTW, bubba is the driver. He’s also caught us a mess of crawdads so we’ll have some fancy fixins’ when they show up to film “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” tomorrow! Come on over Steven… there’s plenty of shelves to stock! Blessings

  4. lambskinny says:

    Excuse me, I’m holding my breath! Not my breathe… ugh, typos! Carley again.

  5. lambskinny says:

    I’m confused – admittedly that may not be a new thing! The payroll tax holiday ended as we knew it would. But millions of Americas escaped tax increases yesterday thanks to our President and thanks to the Democratic party holding fast. If the Bush era tax cuts had expired, we’d all be paying a whole lot more. As for me, I’m grateful. Many blessings, Michael.

    I’m holding my breathe, so fire away.

    Carley

    • mtsweat says:

      Are you trying to nicely tell me I haven’t moved into the top 2???? I’m not sure I can handle this roller coaster ride between wealth and poverty!:) Jesting good friend… just jesting. Blessings

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